Even the most confident kids have moments of doubt about themselves and school. Others struggle with anxieties about adult approval, their grades and their abilities. One thing you can do is help her create a list called 50 Positive Things About Myself.

Start with all the things she can think of, school-related and otherwise. Go through the different subjects together and write down things she feels she does well. Be specific – in math she carefully double checks all her computations, in Earth Science she really understands how clouds form. Look at sports, hobbies, friendships. List both personality traits (great listener) and physical attributes (soft skin).

Ask questions: What would your friends say about you? Coaches? Teachers? How about at Sunday school? That time you helped the neighbor’s son with his homework? Throw some adjectives out and have her pick the ones she likes.

Only if her list isn’t particularly long should you add your own thoughts. When the list is done, place it somewhere she has easy access to it (and it won’t get lost). This way she can pull it out before a test she is nervous about or just when she needs a reminder about how wonderful she is.

Some thoughts: 50 things can feel like a lot. That’s the point. With a big number, she is pushed to really look at all the nooks and crannies of her life. If 50 isn’t long for her, make it 100 or 200! And it is key that this list comes from her as much as possible. It is her way of acknowledging herself and forming her own positive perception of herself.

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